The Undertaking...

Wow.. What a ridiculous past couple months it has been. I don't just mean my life, but so much insane shit has been going on in the world as well. At times, my heart just hurts from the pain we suffer individually, and as a people simultaneously. So, I've been busy. Writing and drawing and learning to love me... I am not sure I ever have.. Although, I am quite sure that I am better at giving love to others. One of my favorite things in the world to do is make someone else feel awesome. Giving someone a good gift or doing something special for them. Idk. The look on others faces when they feel genuine surprise and joy just makes me feel great. So I pay attention and listen to people when they speak. Remembering the little things, with hopes to grace them with a beautiful smile whenever I get the oppurtunity. Maybe I love to give so much because I have rarely felt that same joy. Deriving from a bullied, at times tortuous childhood, onto a much darker young adult life... the undertaking is change. At times, most times, probably all the time I feel like damaged goods... just from the crap I've experienced in my past and thoughts of regret. I am getting to know myself on a deeper level and realizing that I like who I am. To be quite honest, in a number of circles I am probably considered a little weird, but who isn't a little weird in one way or another, join the club!

I am starting to be okay me now and how I am being received.....

So yea.. I've been busy trying to stay focused on the good and let go of the negative. Writing and drawing and painting? Yea I have been Bob Ross'n it, and things have been fulfilling. I have always been fond and enamored by artwork although was never confident enough to take on such a feat. So, All the while Avoiding heavy things like the plague I have slowly but surely been addressing everything and becoming more confident in dealing with the backlash in my life. Whether, good or bad...I am beginning to feel more comfortable expressing myself. Tickling the keyboard with my fiery red nails becomes all the more gratifying when feeling progress. Pay it forward today and always.😘

Vinionated