Adult Bullying
So let's take a crack at it! Adult Bullying or bullying in general.
What do you think happens to all of your old school bullies? You know the ones that gave wedgies, swirlies, stole your lunch money, made fun of you with corny jokes that others thought were funny, pushed and punched and beat your ass, watched you suffer daily until they see a physical change in you, completely exclude you from activities, influence others not to associate with you, bring your self esteem to the depths of hell making you question your existence, post passive aggressive comments on your social media for the world to see, shame you for however you identify, make you question everything about yourself, ridicule your culture, post unflattering pictures of you for their own private jest, insult your financial status, place judgment and hate against whomever you decide to share your life with, exclude you from events, completely ignore you, privately talk shit behind your back, insult your lifestyle, mommy and daddy shame you, talk about you in front of you but not to you, make you feel like a helpless child with no principal to tell, drive you to self medicate the intense internal pain away but nothing helps, make you weep privately until your eyes run out of tears, harm yourself or others….
**NEVER a good idea AND causes MORE HARM than you actually intend. I can understand the need to feel pain to justify the emotional pain tormenting your soul, it makes you hate who you are…..BUT STILL I REPEAT, ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO HARM YOURSELF NOR OTHERS. HEAL WITHIN, AND BE A LITTLE SELFISH FOR ONCE. YOU MATTER**
WELL GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE JERKS????
They are most likely still the Assholes you know and remember in some capacity. People have a common misconception that for some reason bullying “ages out of a person.”
I think just writing that makes me feel insane.
Let me explain. You see, these beautiful bullies are still there, just hiding. They are in your friend group, at your job, in your family, and basically everywhere other people gather. They hide in passive aggressive behavior, purposeful forgetfulness, oblivious behavior, sarcasm, political representations in their lifestyle, JUDGEMENT, imposing their beliefs on others because it is the better way, lying, deceit and betrayal and probably a shitload of others I just have not experienced yet. I am by no means saying that there is no room for redemption, although just because you decide you want to do better does not change the lives you affected with your behavior.
I am a true believer in KARMA and although, yes I am so proud of your change and growth, be very mindful that your behavior shall come back to bite thine in thy ass. In whatever capacity your destiny sets forth. It may come back in the form of your children, to where they experience bullying. It also may be shown in your children, when you begin noticing similar negative social behavior and they become the new “old you" of this generation causing harm among others. Keep that energy clear, if you are or claim to be a “Redeemable” (thanks Spirited, Great MOVIE!), try your best to spread love in your life and others. Go out of your way to be a better person and be seen in that light. People react to energies, try to open your more humble side. Take a walk in others shoes, and experience things uncommon to you. Share your experiences and make amends with the hate you've spread by doubling down and spreading love. Educate yourself on things you don't understand before passing judgment. I'm sure that the more work done on yourself, positivity and beautiful growth shall manifest itself in your life and offspring. But do not think you will not experience the ups and downs of life, because you are “changed” now. Always set your mind in a state of reflection to provide our insane world with better from the hurt you've caused. You honestly do not know how you may have affected people's lives with things that may be considered trivial to you.
I think it might be time to address all of those lost souls tormented by bullying.
Sometimes I feel like certain people or types of behaviors are a target.
Why are we the ones under attack? I lay awake all night trying to figure out what I have done to deserve this behavior and how I can fix it? What did I do? I just want to hide…But no, my loves, it is not our fault. We did nothing wrong but be ourselves. If you know for a fact that you've given countless hours, tried countless unsuccessful things to become accepted, and always shown love, YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. I am still struggling as an adult with this behavior and it boggles me that grown ass people still do this. Within the past couple years I experienced a monumental amount of hate to the point where I kind of talk to no one. No family, rare friends on occasion, but no sense of community. I don't really see anyone. I have been told that the issue is me. I'm the problem and “they cannot fathom why someone would treat me this way,” “I must have misunderstood”, “I'm paranoid”, “I need to seek professional help”, “why would someone say that”, “you are dramatic”, “you are too sensitive”, “you need thicker skin.”
SO TO ALL THOSE GROWN ASS FUCKS WHO STILL THINK THIS BEHAVIOR IS ACCEPTABLE LET ME FINALLY SPEAK UP. NO and NO. UMM FUCK YOU.
I DON'T NEED YOUR ADVICE ON HOW MANY TIMES I WEAR THESE JEANS, AND I DAMN SURE DONT CARE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT, FUNNY GIRL.
YOUR SO FUNNY!
I HOPE YOU ARE A FUCKING COMEDIAN BECAUSE YOUR SHIT WAS GOLD IN 8th GRADE BUT JUDGING FROM YOUR FACEBOOK YOU ARE STILL A PIECE OF SHIT.
AND YOU, DAWG, YOU LIL BILL LOOKING MUTHFKA, I'M LIKE 120 SOAKING WET FIVE FEET FIVE YOU BIG DAMN APE, STOP PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON ME! KEEP THEM SHITS TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE MAD. I'M NOT YA PUNCHING BAG... LITERALLY. ASSCLOWN ONE OF MANY I'VE ENCOUNTERED.
ALSO, ASSUMING YOU KNOW ME, MAKES YOU AN ASS. JUDGING ME FROM FIRST LOOK IS A DUMB HABIT YOU SHOULD CHANGE. ASK QUESTIONS AND EDUCATE YOURSELF, YOU DON’T KNOW ME MANNNNN! SO STOP COMING AT ME WITH THAT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BULLSHIT, IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME YOU'D KNOW THAT I LOVE PEOPLE AND AM THE FIRST ONE TO ADMIRE A FINE INDIVIDUAL, NO MATTER WHAT SHAPE OR FORM THAT LIES IN BABY.
EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I’M THE TYPE TO TELL YOU TO LOOK, THEN WALK OVER AND LET THAT BEAUTY KNOW THAT THEY HAVE IT! YES! BUT FOR YOU TO ASSUME, BULLY ME FOR YOUR OWN LACK OF EDUCATION, MAKES YOU AN IDIOT. SO DON'T COMMENT DUMB IGNORANT SHIT MY WAY. I’LL SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT AND YOU’LL FEEL EVEN MORE LIKE AN ASS. COMMENTING ON A VENMO PAGE IS NOT THUGGIN THO, LIL BULLY. YOU STILL CUTE THO LMAO.
So very thankful for my sister and brother from another mother/father lol, for standing up for me when no one did, and helping me through some mean girl tactics that I was highly unprepared for. Two of my favorite people. besos family..
OOH AND THIS IS A GOOD ONE. TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO ACT OBLIVIOUS WHEN THINGS COME OUT AND FOCUS ON FORGETFUL BEHAVIOR, PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME CLEARLY, THIS DOES NOT ABSOLVE YOU FROM THE HURT YOU CAUSED. WHAT EVER HAPPENED, HAPPENED, YOU KNOW IT. I KNOW IT, I THINK WE ALL KNOW IT. BUT IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN THAT GOLDEN IMAGE, YOU LIE. “YOU AIN'T GOT TO LIE CRAIG!” BUT I KNOW IT SITS WITH YOU IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. ALL GOOD, SHALL WORK ITSELF OUT, I see this as a REDEEMABLE.
OOH AND I WILL PARTICIPATE IN CANNABIS AND LOVE EVERY MOMENT.
EVERY TIME I DO, I SHALL THINK OF HOW MUCH OF A BUM YOU THINK I AM.
CHEERS TO THOSE HATERS!
OOH I GOT MOREEEEEEE! TO THE ASININE ASS WHO MADE FUN OF ME FOR PREFERRING DARKER ROOMS MORE THAN BRIGHT LIGHT, CALLED ME A VAMPIRE (WHICH I DON’T REALLY MIND, BUT I THINK IT WAS MEANT AS AN INSULT.) I HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN EXPERIENCING LEFT EYE PAIN, SEEING SPIDERWEBS IN MY LEFT EYE, AND STRUGGLING WITH BLURRED VISION AND EXPERIENCING PAIN IN BRIGHT LIGHT… IT MAY BE DUE TO THE TUMOR ON THE LEFT FRONTAL PORTION OF MY BRAIN AND IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AS MUCH IN ROOMS WITH DIM LIGHTING (the main reason I like google smart lights due to the dim and color change feature.) YOU SHOULD ASK QUESTIONS AND EDUCATE YOURSELF BEFORE MAKING THE COMMENT THAT ALL I DO IS STAY IN THE DARK HOUSE ALL DAY WITH THE SHADES CLOSED. CORNER HOMES TEND TO GET A LOT OF LIGHT MY DEAR SO VERY SORRY MY PAIN MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. THEN AGAIN, COME ON BY, DURING THE WITCHING HOUR AND I MIGHT BITE YOU WITH MY VAMPING ASS!! REDEEMABLE
IT'S GETTING LONG RIGHT? WELL I TOLD YOU YOU I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT, HOLD TIGHT I’LL WRAP IT UP, THE BEST HAS YET TO COME.
TO THE ASININE ASS WHO BENDS OVER TO TALK TO ME WHEN SHES SHORTER THAN ME, TO ASK THAT I ASSIST WITH AN INTERRACIAL CHILD AT HER WEDDING BECAUSE SOMETIMES SHE STANDS OUT AND TENDS TO BE ALONE IS PROBABLY MY TIP TOP OF IGNORANT PIXIES OF THAT YEAR. AS THE WIFE OF THE BEST MAN I WAS ALSO ASKED TO ASSIST WITH THE REHEARSAL DINNER FOOD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM GOOD AT… OKAY. NO PROB, I'M ALWAYS DOWN TO HELP OUT. ALL I DID WAS PUT IT IN THE OVEN IN MY HEELS AND DRESS THINKING I WAS ATTENDING A WEDDING AND ENDED UP SERVING AT ONE. BETTER YET AS EVERYONE IS ENJOYING DINNER THE GROOM FORGETS MY NAME??? I’VE KNOWN HIM AND HIS FAMILY FOR ABOUT 6 YEARS AT THAT POINT BUT YEP VERONICA IT IS! THE NEXT MORNING I WAS ASKED TO BE PRESENT AT 9AM TO HELP SET UP THE WEDDING IN THE BACKYARD OF A VERY DESOLATE COUNTRY AREA IN THE SUMMER HEAT.
AS THE PRIM LITTLE PRINCESS AND HER EXTREME BITCH OF A MAID OF HONOR ACCEPTED THE GIFTS I BROUGHT TO CELEBRATE THE UNION I WAS ORDERED OUTSIDE FOR WEDDING WORK. AS THEY TOLD ME THEY WERE GOING TO JOURNAL SOON AND WERE DOING FLOWERS. I, ALONE WAS TOLD TO CARRY HAY BALES AROUND FOR SEATING. I WAS ASKED TO CREATE THE SEATING CHART, WHICH CONSISTED OF ME WITH TWINE, AND A WOODEN PLANK WITH NAME CARDS AND NUMBERS. SHE COMES OUT TO CHECK ON ME… NO WATER NO NOTHING, WHY AM I DOING THIS???? SO NOT WORTH IT. I'M SUCH A PUNK. SHE'S NOT EVEN BEING NICE ABOUT IT. SHE MAKES CORRECTIONS TO MY WORK AND BRINGS ME HER FUTURE MOTHER IN LAWS CASHMERE THROWS TO PUT ON THE HAY BAILS. I INSISTED THAT THEY WOULD BE RUINED ALTHOUGH SHE CHUCKLED THAT OFF. MY HUSBAND WAS TAKEN AWAY BY THE GROOM WHEN WE ARRIVED FOR MORE WEDDING WORK UNBEKNOWNST TO HIM THAT I WOULD BE THE GIRLS SLAVE FOR A DAY. SHE GOES BACK IN THE AIR CONDITIONED HOME AS I SIT THERE IN ANGST, SWEATING AND HOLDING BACK TEARS. I LEGIT STOPPED AND LOOKED AROUND. SHIT WAS LIFE CHANGING AND NO JOKE I FELT LIKE A SLAVE. LIKE A PICKING COTTON SLAVE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. I TEXT MY SISTER IN LAW AND THANKFULLY HER WORDS PUSH ME THROUGH. I AM FINISHED AND SWEATING BULLETS. BUT DO I GO IN THE HOUSE TO REST.
NO.
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE I SEE THE OTHER BEST MAN AND HUSBAND OF THE BITCH OF HONOR LIFTING CHAIRS IN THE DIRT. I GO OVER TO HELP HIM OUT, AND CREATE SOME SMALL TALK TO GET THIS WEDDING PUT TOGETHER. AS WE ARE BUILDING THE RECEPTION SPACE GETTING ALONG GREAT, MY HUSBAND COMES BACK. I SAID NOTHING ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND CONTINUED HELPING OUT. THINGS ARE DONE AND WE HEAD BACK IN. THESE REFRESHED BITCHES ARE STILL PLAYING WITH FLOWERS. I ASKED MAID O BITCH IF SHE NEEDED ANY HELP AND SHE TOLD ME WITH ANOTHER FUCKING CHUCKLE THAT I COULD CLEAN UP THE FLOWERS ON THE TABLE SO THEY COULD GET READY.
-_-
MY HUSBAND STEPPED IN TO HELP ME FEELING AWKWARD AS EVER. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT SHITBAG OF A HOTEL THEY RESERVED FOR GUESTS, TAKE A SHOWER IN THE BULLET HOLE RIDDEN BATHROOM AND GET READY FOR THIS SHITSHOW. NOPE NOT THE PLAN THEY HAD IN MIND. I WAS ASKED TO STAY THERE AND GET READY.
AWKWARD YES.
I WAS NOT ALLOWED IN THE ROOM WITH BRIDE BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE HER “ugly” GOWN. ALL THE ROOMS AND SHOWERS WERE BEING USED SO GOOD OL ME PLUGS MY BLOW DRYER AND FLAT IRON IN THE FARTHEST CORNER OUT OF THE WAY TO PREPARE MYSELF.
I AM NOT ALLOWED TO GET DRESSED ANYWHERE BECAUSE ROOMS ARE OCCUPIED, GROOM IS NAPPING, YET I DONT GET WHY THEY INSISTED I STAY. I'M NOT THE HELP.
MY DUMB ASS PURCHASED A BRIDE ROBE FOR THE BRIDE TO CELEBRATE AND KNOCKED ON THE FORBIDDEN CLOSED DOOR.
ALAS I WAS GREETED BY QUEEN BITCH HERSELF.
MAID OF HONOR.
SHE SQUEEZED HER HEAD OUT THE DOOR AS IF I WAS TRYING TO INTRUDE.
I HANDED HER A BAGGY OF BRIDAL GOODIES…
SHE RESPONDS AWWWW YOU ARE SO CUTE. THANKS ME QUICK THEN CLOSES THE DOOR IN MY FACE. I HEAD BACK TO MY CORNER TO GET READY.
PICTURE TIME. BUT NOT FOR ME, I WAS TOLD I WOULDN’T BE IN PICTURES AND TO STAY INSIDE. WHICH I DO NOT MIND, ITS HER DAY, BUT BEING THE WIFE OF THE BEST MAN, HAVING A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GROOM AND THE GROOM'S FAMILY AT A WEDDING WITH MAX 50 GUESTS I DO NOT THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DETRIMENTAL IF I WAS IN ANY PHOTOS WITH MY HUSBAND. WEDDING BEGINS.. IT IS VERY WEIRD AND I AM FEELING VERY ALONE. ONE OF MY HUSBANDS OLD FRIENDS THAT I JUST MET, OFFERED TO ACCOMPANY ME, SAT NEXT TO ME, AND MADE THINGS NORMAL FOR ME. DUDE HUNG OUT AT THE COCKTAIL HOUR WHICH I WAS ONCE AGAIN ALONE FOR, AS MY HUSBAND WAS DRAGGED AWAY WITH THE BRIDAL PARTY (of 3 people) THAT I WAS BANNED FROM AGAIN. WHAT A FUCKING GEM! DUDE YOU SAVED ME THAT DAY! FAST FORWARD TO DINNER AND I'M AT THE TABLE WITH QUEEN BITCH, AND MAD RANDOM, NO ONE WAS TALKING TO HER SHE GOES “OOOOH THANK YOU FOR CLEANING UP MY MESS EARLIER WITH THE FLOWERS, HAHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE I ASKED YOU TO DO THAT. HAHAHA….. EVERYONE AT THE TABLE SENSED THE SARCASM AND IT GOT AWKWARDLY QUIET. I MOVED ON WITH MY OWN CONVERSATION I WAS HAVING. OOH AND YES THAT SWEET “INTERRACIAL BABY” SMFH WAS THERE AND YEP SHE WAS ALONE AND DESOLATE AND MY HEART COULDN’T TAKE IT, SO YEA I WENT OVER THERE AT TIMES TO TALK AND JOKE WITH THAT PRETTY LOVE. TIME FOR DANCING, JACKASS GROOM WHO FORGOT MY NAME DIDN’T WANT TO DANCE WITH HIS MOM. OKAY..GROOMS COUSIN (AWESOME CHICK) HATCHES PLOY TO GET THEM ON THE FLOOR TOGETHER DANCING. I GET MY HUBBY ON BOARD.
(The groom's parents are sheerly beautiful individuals that have always shown me genuine love. Welcoming and loving, always greeting me and my family with open extended arms. Groom's behavior is unlike him, he used to be the strength I always knew my husband needed in a friend, as he was in return for him or aspired to be, and we had a relationship like Corey, Shawn and Topanga…Miss that.. completely an effortless answer of Redeemable in every sense of the word)
AS GROOMS DAD AND I ARE MUNCHING DOWN ON SOME OF THE AMAZING DESSERTS AT THE WEDDING I SEE THAT THE PHOTOGRAPHER KEEPS EYEING US. MAYBE SHE WANTS A PIC OF DAD. WE ARE TRULY CONSUMED IN OUR TREATS LAUGHING AND ENJOYING THE MOMENT. OUR HAPPY GETS LOUD AND MY HUBBY AND MY “DATE” FROM EARLIER POP IN AND GRAB A PIE, JOINING IN ON THE FESTIVITIES. YUMMMM! AFTER SOME TIME I REALIZE I NEVER GOT A PIE FOR THE PERSON I WENT UP THERE FOR ORIGINALLY, TOLD THE BOYS I’D BE RIGHT BACK AND DROPPED OFF A PIE TO MY FRIEND. I THEN TURN AROUND AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS TAKING PICTURES OF THE BOYS, THE GROUP I WAS JUST IN. I WALKED LESS THAN 10ft and took about 12 seconds to deliver the pie. AS I WALKED SLOWLY BACK, THEY ARE SNAPPING PHOTOS AND I'M JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO FINISH. GROOMS DAD STOPS AND SAYS “ WHAT THE HECK, GET IN HERE! TO ME. THE PHOTOGRAPHER AUTOMATICALLY LOOKED HESITANT AS SHE FACED HER CAMERA DOWNWARDS. I IMMEDIATELY CHIMED IN, “NO ITS OKAY I KNOW YOU WANT PICTURES OF THE FAMILY AND BRIDAL PARTY. NO WORRIES LOVEY, I'M MUNCHING, THIS PIE IS GREAT!” DAD, MY HUSBAND AND FRIEND ALL START LAUGHING AND YELLING GET IN HERE! I GOT IN THERE FOR A PICTURE, SHE TOOK ONE AND WALKED AWAY. LOL.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE SHARED THIS STORY EXCEPT FOR TELLING TWO DEAR NON JUDGMENTAL SUPPORTIVE ASS TRUES. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN THE 90s IT HAPPENED 2 YEARS AGO. THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME, THIS CONSTANT UNDERHANDED BULLYING BEHAVIOR. AND IT CHANGED ME. IT MADE ME START TO THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE NOT SEEING ME. LIKE FOR WHO I AM. THEY SEE MY FACE AND THEN ACT ACCORDINGLY. I WAS UNAWARE AND COMPLETELY UNFAMILIAR.
I am sharing these stories to let you know that you are not alone.
Things like this happen and relationships spiral downwards.
PLEASE CUT THAT NEGATIVITY OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
DON’T ALLOW SOMEONE TO STEP ON YOU AND BREAK YOU DOWN.
IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THAT NEGATIVE ENTITY, REGARDLESS OF OTHERS TRYING TO DILUTE YOUR FEELINGS.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT
AND HOW YOU FEEL IS VALID, TO YOU, TO ME, TO ALL,
NO ONE CAN TELL ANOTHER PERSON HOW THEY SHOULD FEEL
AND IT MATTERS. HOW YOU HURT AND HOW YOU HEAL
YOU MATTER.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING. TO ANYONE
I AM STILL WORKING ON THIS MYSELF BUT I IMPLORE YOU TO KNOW THAT THESE ASSHOLES WILL ALWAYS BE JUST THAT. ASININE ASS-BAGS THAT NEVER REALLY CHANGE. IT IS ALL ABOUT HOW WE REACT TO IT. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE FIRM IN ALL OF THESE INSTANCES AND I PLAN TO MORE OFTEN. I GUESS BEWARE OF THE VINIONATEDNESS LOL!
BUT SERIOUSLY GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
I'm here if you need to talk.. hehe!
Jessie J Who You Are
X Ambassadors Unsteady
Marshmello & Bastille Happier
Keith Urban Blue Ain't Your Color
Lukas Graham 7 Years
J Cole Feat TLC Crooked Smile
Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber I dont care
Big Sean I don't F*** with you
TLC Unpretty
Eminem Cleaning out my closet
Macklemore & Skylar Grey Glorious
Lizzo About Damn Time
no seriously, keep your pretty head up and I am here
Things will get better.
Ilustrations
https://headfullofdolls.tumblr.com/post/653490142633492481/oh-there-you-are-karma-nichols-episode-17
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